New Zealand Limericks
A trip was dreamed of by chums
The planning was done by the mums
The world we did see,
And we can say with glee
We're not sitting home on our bums.
Our vistas have all been stupendous
The hiking and biking tremendous
We've not gotten lost
And our map we've not tossed
We're staying so money please send us.
Lady Jane and the rest of her camp
Ventured out in the bush for some tramps
The sand flies did bite
But to our delight
The glow worms shone like a lamp.
We’re here on the isle of the Kiwi
These folks don’t see tiny, they see wee
Where Beth is now Beeth
And west is called weest
Good grief how can this possibly be
New Zealand is tucked way down under
Our sense of direction’s asunder
They drive on the left
Our patience bereft
We try hard to not make a blunder
We can’t pass a souvenir shop
Cause John and Beth just have to stop
They handle the wares
The shopkeeper stares
And hopes for the cash they might drop
There once was a woman named Beeth
Whose ship got stuck on a reef.
She went for a swim on a lark
And was eaten by a shark.
Now the only thing left are her teeth!
There once was a sheep named Beeth
Who got grass stuck in her teeth,
She was feeling quite cross
Till she discovered wool floss
Now she sells floss made from fleece
There was a young lady from Perth
Who was puzzled by increasing girth
The doctor was called
And the mystery was solved
When finally the young lady gave birth
There was a secular Jew from Wanaka
Who would not celebrate Hanukkah
I would not be surprised
If he's not circumcised
And he won't even wear a yamaka
There was a young man on a toura
Who drove the road to Rotorua
There was a opossum on a curve
But he did not swerve
And now his car is covered in fur-a
We went on the bridge walk in Sydney
And the weather it was quite windy
Forrest said with delight
I've not seen a happier sight
Since I passed the stone from my kidney.
There was an old Doctor from Mound
Who went on a tour of the Sound
He could not float
So he went by boat
And wonderful beauty he found.
There once was a lady named Jane
Who wouldn't hike in the rain
So despite her youth
She chipped off her tooth
And went to the dentist for pain.
Four old friends came from afar
To dine at the Waterfront Bar
They played in the quiz bowl
Their answers - abysmal!
No wonder their score was sub par.
Lady Jane went to Australia
The prime minister held her a gala
She caused quite a stir
When she claimed Queensland was hers
For Impersonating a Queen we'll jail ya!
She booked her ticket as Lady Jane
And was treated like a queen on the plane
The attendants did scurry
And said don't you worry
We know that you royals are a pain.
A trip was dreamed of by chums
The planning was done by the mums
The world we did see
And we can say with glee
We're not sitting home on our bums!
There once was a lady named Jane
Some jewelry she was to obtain
The opal was real
And Jane got a deal
He even threw in the chain
We planned on a trip to go sailing
But the cyclone winds were wailing
We changed our plan
So we could play in the sand
Because we'd rather be safe than bailing!
We paddled Byron Bay in a kayak
And struggled to keep us on track
Lady Jane was so brave
When we were hit by a wave
But she still ended up in the back
Beth and Jane, like Jonah, were cursed
The weather they'd find was the worst
For if with them you'd sail
You'd be caught in a gale
So please check the weather map first.
Forrest the guitar he played
But at home his guitar stayed
To keep his callouses tough
If he didn't play enough
Stops at guitar stores he made
Our car was surrounded by sheep
We didn’t see Little Bo Peep
The dogs moved the flock
Like a ship to the dock
The horn I did not have to beep
The glacier was high on the mountain
Green meltwater ran like a fountain
The number was soaring
Of waterfalls pouring
And really too many for countin’
No comments:
Post a Comment